Whatever…Love is Love

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We are all constantly "becoming." That is one of the joys of life. | Sense of Sunny

One day before my last birthday, I decided that I needed to start giving some more thought to how I was living my life. On February 12th, I attended my first ever Book Club meeting. Small steps, guys. This month we are on our way to completing our 5th book, Whatever…Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves.

Although my terrible habit of never completing books is still being worked on, I wanted to talk a little bit about our most recent read. Do you ever just feel so randomly passionate about something and it takes you by total surprise? I loved the way Maria Bello told her story in a way that was so easily relatable. Chapter after chapter kept addressing themes that have found themselves swirling around in my head.

“To me, a partner is someone you rely on in your life–for help, companionship, mutual respect, and support. Can my primary partner be my sister, or child, or best friend…?”

Much of the book talks about her relationships with men and women, both romantic and platonic. I think one of the biggest concepts she talked about, though, is the meaning of “life partners.” As I am *surprise* 100% single, I never considered that maybe a partner can come in other forms. As I get a little older, it’s sometimes way too tempting to consider myself the token single lady in my group of friends.

However, I have incredible relationships with all kinds of people, all whom contribute in some way to my happiness and well being. Do I kiss them before bed or see myself getting married to them ever? No, I don’t, but does that really matter or make their role any less significant? We should be thinking less about who isn’t in our life and more about those that already serve such an essential function to our being.

“He made me feel responsible for every minute of the life I led.”

Without recapping the entire book in this single post…Maria Bello befriended a priest, Father Ray, during her time at Villanova. The way she writes about his role in her life makes me feel like Father Ray and I could’ve had some great conversations as well. He encouraged Maria to learn more and ask the right questions that would lead her to live a worthy life.

What spoke so loudly to me, though, was that Maria never defined what “a worthy life” was supposed to mean. Father Ray walked alongside Maria as she figured out her own meaning of worth. I believe, in at least some small way, that we all have a basic desire to find joy and accept the decisions we make for ourselves. Maria reminded me that these decisions are our responsibility to make.

“We are all constantly ‘becoming.’ That is one of the joys of life.”

As we all know, time makes moments flee before we ever realize they’re gone. While that sounds really depressing, it’s also what allows us to grow and become more loving, more educated, and more experienced without always thinking about or interfering with what is changing within and around us.

Personally, If I had the power to actively intervene when I sensed something was going to change, nothing productive would happen to me ever (and I would still be dying my hair weird colors and listening to My Chemical Romance, but I digress.) You may be pretty sure of who you are today, but tomorrow you will become even more you, and isn’t that just a magical thing.

“I am only concerned with the only labels that matter–the ones I give myself.”

We are all trying to become who we’re meant to be, love who we’re meant to love, and question the meaning of this crazy weird life, so why infringe on another persons ability to do just that?

*mic drop*